Reality Brings Saddness

About 2 months I spent one of my 5 day chemos rooming with a really cool 23 year old boy from New Mexico. His name is Logan and he was living in New Mexico and got Leukemia. The Leukemia ended up going away and he was cancer free. A couple years later the Leukemia returned and his family and him came up to Seattle Childerns to get a donor. The plan was for Logan to get some of his brother's bone marrow because they thought it would match Logan's. It ended up not being the right match. Logan has been in the hospital since the middle of may without leaving getting sick with viruses and not being able to find a donor. Today my mom came in and told me she has just got done talking to his parents and Logan is only getting sicker and is starting to have heart failure. It brought tears to my eyes hearing that. There is really nothing left they can do for him and the are sending him back to home which is New Mexico. It is very heart hurting seeing people and rooming with kids here at Childerns all the time who don't have that light at the end but still are fighting and have a smile on their face. I look around at this world and everyone is always complaining at small things like having a cold, or breaking up with their bf or gf that they went out with for a month, or just daily things that get us down because we let it. But before you start complaining about what you had for dinner remember there are kids I see everday just fighting for their lives before that even get a chance to live life. Logon needs our prayers more then ever. I'm hoping to get up from bed and get a chance to go talk to him today and pray and wish him the best.

6 Weeks

I know it has been forever since I have personally written in my blog. Times have been hard for me these past 6 weeks. 6 weeks ago I went in for my surgery to remove the cancer (which is all goneJ), but at the same time pretty much get a new leg. Personally I didn’t know having such a major thing done to your body would be so hard. I ended up getting bedsores from not being moved and that itself was super hard. When I first got the sores itself was more of a problem at the beginning then my leg while I was in the hospital. I spent 8 days in the hospital recovering from my surgery moving 3 rooms, changing 3 beds (all in the middle of the night), using a CPM machine for my leg 2 hours on 2 hours off and having nurses, doctors, ect bugging me all the time. It was a hard time both for my mom and I. We were glad when we got to go home. When I got home I had a setup in our computer room downstairs that consisted of a bed with lots of padding for my sores, a trapeze so I could move myself around, and lots of pillows. We got home on a Thursday and on Tuesday they said I would be having chemo the next day. I wasn’t very happy to hear that as I was still trying to get over my surgery, as I hadn’t even been home for a week. I went in for my 3 day chemo then came home. My free time at home has been as simple as just hanging around my downstairs moving from my family room to computer room and doing physical thearapy. Not walking is the hardest thing I have gone through. I feel so limited even though I am improving everyday, but can’t really do anything for myself. It is hard relying on everyone around you to do everything for you. I can personally say I have no personal space anymore. I know things can only get better for me and my leg and I have never been more determined in my life. The physical therapist today told me my movement is great and she has never seen someone work so hard to get back on their feet. She says there is no doubt if I keep working hard and doing what I need to do that I am going to have myself a good leg. Also my surgeon wants to get a golf simulator for him and I at the hospitalJ. I am a long way away from walking but I am making progress. I can now get around the house on my crutches and make it upstairs to take a shower. I have been through a lot these past 6 weeks with surgery, two chemos, and just getting out of the hospital yesterday after spending it in the hospital because of a fever. I don’t know how I do it. I am not the perfect person and lately there have been times were I have been angry with life and God. I sometimes have to ask WHY?, when I am at my lowest and don’t feel like I am going to make it. But then God always shows up in some way to make it bearable and I move on in this journey. Tomorrow I go in for more chemo knowing this is my last 3 day and I won’t ever have to put up with the red poison again. I have been through Hell and I am still in it, but it feels good to know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel with only 5 chemos left after this 3 day. I miss hearing from everyone and seeing people as people are busy and summer is in full throttle and hope with this post I can get a little feed back on how everyone is doing and tell how I have been doing too. Hope everyone is having a good summer so far and God Bless.

Garrett

Another 5-day Chemo stay

I told you all I'd update sooner than the last time ; ).

Garrett is on his last full day of this 5-day chemo treatment. He is pretty sleepy today but enjoyed having sister megan stay with him friday night. During this hospital stay Garrett has sat in a chair for about an hour (amazing!), taken a real shower and visited with mom, grandma, aunt joan and uncle paul, cousin maria and sisters megan and lindsy. He has a good roommate who... for the first time... is a little better off than Garrett. This boy only has one hospital stay and two out-patient treatments and he's done! It's a little different since Garrett is usually the cancer patient who is doing the best out of the two roommates. We thank the Lord that this boy only has to go through a few treatments and got to graduate with his class and is now on to UW : ). We continue to pray that Garrett stays on schedule and continues to make great improvements.

This weekend is a difficult one for Garrett because every 4th of July he, along with the rest of the family, heads out to our cabin on Hood Canal to watch the beautiful fireworks. Garrett will not be able to attend this year, but we pray that he is feeling well enough that he can go to Grandma's on sunday night to watch the show from her deck : ). Mom and Megan get to spend the night at the cabin tonight... we are thankful that they get a day or two to relax.

Thank you again for being such great supporters for Garrett... this process is a long one and we are grateful for the ones who continue to pray and think of Garrett. He is on week 17 of 30 and cannot wait to get this all over with.

Stay posted for our next update on Garrett! Happy 4th of July and BE SAFE!